The expression "I have the right  of way" is often used by boaters who, in potential collision situations, feel they don't need to alter their course. This is the sort of phrase they'll inscribe on your tombstone (the past tense version) if you pigheadedly stick to your guns when you should have backed off.

The Rules of the Road are pretty straightforward, but there are subtle variances that a boater must take into account in order to arrive alive. For example, priority is supposed to be given to a boat "not under command." Typically, this means a boat at anchor or one that has experienced a loss of steerage or power. But many people don't realize that this also includes boats being driven by skippers who lack the necessary brain power to be able to consistently put a pair of pants on with the zipper facing forward, much less drive a boat safely. But how do you determine the IQ of another boater from a distance? Often there are telltale signs that indicate whether they're MENS-A or MENS-F.

Sport boats and small, maneuverable runabouts are a blast to drive, but if you see a driver whipping around erratically into tight turns without looking to see if the coast is clear, you need to give them as wide a berth as you would an unkempt panhandler on a sidewalk jingling a bent coffee can full of change and aggressively proclaiming he's collecting for "Gary's kids."

Another driver you should yield to is someone wearing one of those hats that have two beer cans on either side with tubes leading to their mouth, because you can be pretty certain that your safety isn't as high on their priority list as consuming mass quantities or checking out the two-legged action.

Sometimes it's not a matter of intelligence, but rather a lack of concentration, like when another driver is engaged in an animated face-to-face discussion with someone sitting on the stern bench using both hands to emphatically make their point, such as a dad explaining to his teenager that their text messaging cost him an additional $132 last month, and contrary to popular belief, money doesn't grow on trees.

Having the right of way doesn't magically create a halo of protection around you, so you need to interject some common sense into the equation. For example, if you own a jon boat and anchor it smack dab in the middle of a commercial shipping channel to do a little fishing, it'd be a mistake to assume that the 600-foot-long container ship bearing down on you would - or could - take the necessary actions to avoid you (or your little red and white bobber). Even if 90 percent of them somehow manage to keep from "bumping" into you, that 10th one is going to rain all over your short little aluminum parade. Although it's true that fishing vessels are granted some protective status, the regulations are referring to boats like a shrimp trawler with the net deployed, not your 14-foot car-topper. And being anchored doesn't mean anything other than you're clogging up the artery of life, so move it.

The key to being safe is your situational awareness, not your knowledge of the sometimes-arcane Rules of the Road, which many boaters haven't bothered to peruse. The only assumption you should be making is the paranoid belief that everyone is out to get you. After all, you don't want someone peering down at your body saying, "He was dead right."